


Are You Happy?

by HerDiamonds



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon Fix-It, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerDiamonds/pseuds/HerDiamonds
Summary: The first week after she confronts Maggie she spent in a daze. She felt like her body was controlled by a robot and she just went through the motions. The second week got a little better and she was able to push back the thoughts after a huge alien was caught on the loose downtown and she and Supergirl worked to capture it. Sometime during the third week Alex decided to treat herself to a glass of scotch with the superfriends at the bar.Sometime during the third week was when Alex forgot how to breathe.Orone of the many Sanvers fix-it-fics we all need...





	Are You Happy?

**Author's Note:**

> just a little fix-it-fic. this started out as a head canon I had of the *true* reason why Maggie didn’t want kids. which is revealed. and then I remembered a thing, and wrote a thing and now here’s the thing…
> 
> come tell me how you liked it or yell at me in the comments below… :) enjoy!

Alex’s mornings used to start out the best. They were her favourite part of the day. She’d wake up in Maggie’s arms, turn over and kiss Maggie before getting out of bed. Then, she’d hop in the shower where Maggie would meet her a few minutes later. After that, they’d get dressed and head to the kitchen where she put on music, started them coffee and toasted their bagels while Maggie checked her phone for work. Together they’d eat their breakfast in between kisses and grab their leather jackets before parting at the door with a kiss from Maggie. Mornings used to be her favourite. 

 

Now they were dull, and she hardly wanted to get out of bed in the mornings. 

 

She still slept on the left side, but the right side no longer smelled like Maggie, just like the laundry soap. She’d trudge out of bed, stand half awake in the shower, enough to wake herself up and shower off before dressing, making one cup of coffee on her way out the door. Mornings post-Maggie sucked. 

 

Everything post-Maggie sucked. 

 

And she hurt. Because she loved her so much. 

 

She picked up her phone constantly, wanting to call the other woman, but never went through with it. Instead, on nights like these, she’d head to the bar in hopes to see Maggie, just a glimpse of her, to make sure she was just okay. 

 

Alex nursed the glass of scotch the bartender slid over to her as she scanned the bar. Again, Maggie wasn’t there. She waited, finishing off her second glass of scotch before downing a glass of water and leaving, having been at the bar for hours, willing the woman to show up. She never did, never does, and Alex doesn’t know why she wastes time waiting for her at the bar, but she does it anyway. 

 

She goes home and sleeps again, tossing and turning all night. 

 

The next morning brings her a new day again, and when she walks into the DEO on a quiet morning, she heads straight for Winn’s desk. “Schott, can you find out where Maggie is staying for me?” She asks. Winn raises a questioning eyebrow and Alex shoots him an intimidating look before he surrenders and starts typing away on his computer. He effortlessly pulls up an address where he finds Maggie Sawyer located. 

 

“She seems to have found a new place, this apartment’s in her name.” Winn says as Alex copies down the address. 

 

“Thanks Winn.” She says, pocketing the address and heading down to the labs, there must’ve been something around here to keep her busy until she can clock out. 

 

The training room does. She first sparred with Vasquez, then J’onn, and a few rookies who thought they could take her, claiming J’onn was going easy on her. She kicked their asses faster than Supergirl could fly––well, not  _ that _ fast, but that’s what Alex liked to believe. 

And when she left the DEO that evening, she didn’t go home, she headed straight for the new apartment Maggie lived in. She walked into the building, flashing her badge at the front desk. She knew that it was wrong to do that, using her badge to get into the building where her ex-fiancee lived, but she needed to see Maggie. She needed to know how she was. She loved her. And if Maggie told her to walk away again now, she would, and never come back. But she needed to hear Maggie say it this time. 

 

She stood at the front door of Maggie’s apartment and knocked twice, waiting, hoping Maggie was even home when the door clicked and opened. Alex sucked in a breath as Maggie appeared in front of her. 

 

“Alex.” She greeted tightly. Alex looked her once over, trying to figure out from any signs of how Maggie was doing, but her posture stood tall, her head held high and her voice was laden with nothing but calmness and professionality. Nothing flirty or sad, or even angry. No hurt. Nothing. 

 

“Maggie I––” Alex didn’t really think this all through. “I just, I needed to see for myself that you were okay. So I could move on with my life. Because the fighting? That just isn’t us. But you’re fine, so I’ll––I’m just going to go.” She stammered out and turned to leave. 

 

“You asked me if I was ever going to want to have kids, Alex,” Maggie started, making Alex stop and turn around to her. Maggie’s voice had softened as soon as she spoke. “You asked me if I was ever going to want to have kids, and I said no. I meant it. Why can’t you leave it at that? You can’t just keep coming around. How’d you even find this place, or get u here? Let me guess, Winn found my address because you threatened him and then you used your badge at the front desk to get by, huh?” 

 

Maggie knew her so well. 

 

“You know me too well.” Alex tried, smiling. 

 

“Yeah, I know you, and I wish I didn’t because then it’d be a hell of a lot easier to slam this door in your face.” Maggie said. Her words stung. 

 

“Why?” Alex pushes. “You told me you didn’t want kids and it had nothing to do with your parents or childhood, so why, Maggie?” 

 

“I just don’t want kids. I never saw them in my future.” She deflects, but like she knows Alex, Alex knows her and can see right through her defenses. 

 

“I’m calling bullshit. You told me you didn’t see marriage either, but we still got engaged. And then you pictured our life together and you said you were happy. So  _ why _ , Maggie?” She asks again. 

 

“Let it go, Alex.” Maggie says harshly, taking a step back from the doorway. Alex knows she’s about to close it and as she does, Alex sticks her boot in the doorway, preventing it from closing. 

 

“Why? Remember what I said? No more hiding things from me.” 

“We’re not together, I don’t have to tell you anything.” Maggie snaps, yelling at the redhead. “Now go!” 

 

Alex narrows her eyes at Maggie. “Why? I’m not leaving. You can’t just promise a life with me, promise to alway be truthful with me and then force me to break up with you because you don’t want kids and won’t even tell me why!” Alex fights back. 

 

“Force you to break up with me?” Maggie counters back, her voice stern and slowly growing louder. 

 

“ _ You _ were the one to say we shouldn’t be together because I wanted kids.  _ You _ were the one to say I needed to say it, to say we were over. You wer––”

 

“Leave! Alex, just go. I don’t want kids. End of story. You’re not my girlfriend or fiancee or wife or partner or friend, so get out. I don’t have to explain anything to you. I have nothing else to say. Go!” She yells. 

 

Alex braces her hand on the door as Maggie tries to push it closed again, the words really stung. “I’m not leaving.” She says again. She’s fighting,  _ for them _ .

 

“I’ll call the police.” Maggie tries. 

 

“You are the police.” Alex counters. 

 

“Leave, Alex.” She says sternly.

 

“No.” Alex fights back.

 

“Yes!” Maggie yells.

 

“Not until you tell me why.” Alex still holds her hand firmly against the door as she eyes Maggie. 

 

“I lost a kid! I lost a kid Alex, on my watch. You happy?” Maggie snaps, finally, hitting her breaking point. “Jamie Prescott.” She starts slowly as Alex’s face softens from hard and intimidating to concerned and loving. “He was three. It was all over the news after it happened. There was a shootout at a playground when I was chasing a suspect down for a robbery, back when I’d just joined the force. The guy turned around to shoot me, missed and ended up hitting this little kid. I was by myself, my partner went after the other guy and so I didn’t know what to do. My training and everything told me to chase after the guy, I couldn’t let him go, and I knew there were already paramedics coming for the kid, I could hear them, so I kept running after the guy. I eventually caught up to him and arrested him, and after I went to visit the boy in the hospital. I found out he didn’t even make it to the hospital.” Maggie broke down. “So there. Are you happy?” 

 

Alex still stood silently and Maggie continued. 

 

“It’s all my fault and that’s I don’t want kids. Because how can I protect my own kids when I couldn’t even protect some random one?” Maggie said harshly. 

 

Alex still stood speechless but had taken a step back. Her hand had fallen from its brace on the door. 

 

“See? You can’t even answer me.” Maggie said huffing. Alex didn’t know what to say. There was nothing else  _ to _ say. So she watched silently as the door shut in front of her, shutting her out of Maggie’s life. 

 

She stood there for a few more moments before finally being able to move and she blinked lifelessly before heading down the hall. She didn’t know what she expected to come out of showing up here, but it was definitely  _ not _ that. 

 

She didn’t remember how she even got home that night, having stopped at the bar to drink away everything. All she knew was that she woke up the next morning with a hangover and she didn’t want to move. 

 

The first week after she confronts Maggie she spent in a daze. She felt like her body was controlled by a robot and she just went through the motions. The second week got a little better and she was able to push back the thoughts after a huge alien was caught on the loose downtown and she and Supergirl worked to capture it. Sometime during the third week Alex decided to treat herself to a glass of scotch with the superfriends at the bar. 

 

Sometime during the third week was when Alex forgot how to breathe. 

 

Because there was Maggie, in the bar. Maggie who she hadn’t seen in almost three full weeks and the last time she saw her, Maggie told her about the little boy who died on her watch. Maggie opened up to her. There was Maggie, in a button up, forest green shirt and tight black jeans, her leather jacket hanging on her shoulders and a beer in her hand as she stood off to the side of her work buddies. 

 

Alex looked back at her table. Kara, Winn, James and Lena who’d showed up moments ago, were all laughing. She had time to slip away. No one would notice if she walked away for a few minutes. 

 

So she sucked in a deep breath and walked over to Maggie. 

 

Maggie’s back was to her by the time she neared her, and Alex wasn’t even sure if Maggie had even seen her yet. But she walked right up to the brunette. No plan. No words planned to say to her. All Alex wanted to do was see her. 

 

“I love you.” Well, that wasn’t planned. “Oh God.. oh, my God, that just came flying out of my face. I love you.” She blurts out, shocked at what’s even coming out of her mouth and Maggie has already turned around, locking eyes with her.  “I just...I did it again. I love you. I do. I just, I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. Trying so hard to not pick up my phone to call you and say it or drive over to your place. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and  _ not _ say it… because we aren’t together, but I am so in love with you. You–You’re in me. You’re like — it’s like you’re a disease. It’s like I am infected by Maggie Sawyer and I just can’t think about anything or anybody and I can’t sleep. I can’t breathe. I can’t eat. And I love you. I love you all the time. Every minute of every day. I love you. And I know we aren’t together but I need you to know that.” Alex rambles out, tripping over her words. She blinks twice before turning directly on her heel and walking straight out of the bar. She’ll text Kara later and tell her she wasn’t feeling well. 

 

Maggie stared after Alex as she walked out the bar. She was frozen. Had that really just happened? Had Alex just walked right up to her, blurted out that she still loved her and how Maggie was like a disease to her and then left? 

 

She walked slowly over to an empty booth, needing to sit alone. To think about everything. 

 

Alex just walked up to her in a bar and confessed her love for her after being apart for months. And she hadn’t even given Maggie time to reply. Maggie didn’t know what she would have said in the moment, but after taking another tiny sip of her beer, she knew what she would say now. 

 

She knew what she had to say now. 

 

She left cash under the half empty bottle of beer before standing up and walking straight out of the bar. She needed to find Alex. 

 

It wasn’t hard to find her. She found her in the first place she looked––Alex’s apartment. Maggie knocked on the door and when it opened, she pushed it open more, placing her hands on Alex’s cheeks and pulling her head down so their lips could meet. She kissed Alex fervently, with everything she had in her before pulling away.  “I love you, too. I’ve always been in love with you. I will always be in love with you. We’ll get married. And you’ll gonna be an amazing mom. We’re gonna have kids. We’re gonna be happy, Alex. You and me. We’re gonna have the best life. You and me, because we’re supposed to end up together. We are meant to be. I love you.” She said with Alex’s face in front of hers and Alex’s arms around her back, holding her close. “I was scared, and stupid. I know that I couldn’t have done anything to save that kid, but it hangs over me and––”

 

“It’s not stupid.” Alex interrupts. “And neither are you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pushed you––”

 

“No more hiding.” Maggie quipped. 

 

“No more hiding.” Alex repeats. “But I’m sorry. And I can respect that you don’t want kids. Your reason is valid.” Alex says softly. 

 

“We’re going to have kids. If you’re there with me, we can do this.” Maggie promises. 

 

“I’ll alway be there with you.” Alex promises. 

 

Four months after Maggie stood in her doorway, Alex and her finally had their wedding. And two years after that led to this very moment, the one that scared and excited Maggie more than anything very before. 

 

“It’s a girl!” the nurse proudly announced as she placed the screaming pink baby onto Alex’s chest, trying to wipe her down. 

 

Kara and Eliza were the first to visit. Maggie was currently holding the swaddled sleeping bundle in her arms when the two blondes walked in the door. Alex smiled up at them from her hospital bed.

 

Maggie carefully passed the baby over to Kara as she cooed over the infant. “Does she have a name?” She asked. 

 

“Jamie.” Both Alex and Maggie said at the same time. 

 

“For the little one I couldn’t save.”

 

“And the one you’ll always save.” Alex reassured. 

 

Maggie swallowed hard. It would always scare her, but this time she would always be there for Jamie. And she knew Jamie Prescott was looking over them now, she knew he’d always look after Jamie Danvers. And today, she was happy.


End file.
